Ouch.

There are times when you get hurt and it takes a while for the pain to register. The delayed “Ouch!” often seems pointless and silly. But then there are times when you get hurt and the pain is immediate and so intense it takes your breath away. I often get a nauseous feeling in my stomach with hot flashes of pain. My mind starts racing and trying to deal with these new sensations, trying desperately to get them to stop. This is how I react to intense physical and emotional pain. Thankfully I guess I usually just get one type of pain at a time, but nonetheless, it still hurts like the first time every time.

When pain is caused by something physical, it is usually a result of my own clumsiness which is easily remedied as long as I watch where I’m going. But emotional pain is a little trickier.

The worst is when you don’t know what you did to cause others to inflict hurt on you. You desperately try to rack your brain for something, anything. Some clue that maybe you missed that would have prepped you better for the onslaught of pain. Sometimes you realize what you’ve been blind to, but other times, you have no idea which makes the pain so much worse. During those times, I go back and forth between tears and anger. I want them to know how they made me feel and hurt them back, but considering how I was treated, they probably wouldn’t care no matter what I said or did. At least that’s what the angry part inside me says. The sad teary part is less vengeful and just wants to know why.

So to all the people who have hurt me, you suck. I’ll forgive you, but I’ll never forget how you made me feel.

Finally.

Well people, the time has come. I knew it would happen one day and I just patiently awaited it. I wasn’t going to force anything; I wanted it to feel right.

Now that I feel ready, it’s go time.

More to come...

Under the covers...

Man, this past weekend while driving to Webster, I heard this song on the radio as a 'flashback'. I hadn't heard it in years and didn't even know who sang it til that day.

But the thing is, this song takes me back to the early college days. Ah the memories. This was before my Brazil-induced dmb phase (of whom I now love willingly).

This song is pop-y and catchy. I love it so much and am very glad it was brought back into my life. It's not going to change the world, but hearing it changes my attitude and that's good enough for me.

Just like Mike.

My dad is one of a kind. I realize that basically everyone thinks that, but I’m sticking to it.

The other night he called me up because he was looking at our tickets for the Twins game later this summer (someone’s excited to see Target Field) and could only find 5 when we should have 6. Right when he was asking me how many tickets I ordered, he realized that 2 of them were stuck together so crisis averted. I laughed and joked with him about how concerned he was over the tickets. I would have done the same thing though because we both love baseball. It's a bond that we share and I love it.

I strive to be like my dad with his overall awesomeness and maybe it’s working. The other day I was talking to my mom about politics and demographics, AKA I was talking and she was patiently listening to me go on and on. When I had finished, she said to me “You sound just like your dad.” I just smiled to myself because it was one of the greatest compliments I could receive.

On Father’s day, I spent the majority of the time hanging with my dad and watching the Twins crush the Phillies and then got crushed by my dad in a game of croquet. Both were great games and a great way to spend the day.

So cheers to my dad and all the other awesome fathers out there.

My prediction

Well the kitten video didn’t get the or any reaction like I was hoping for...tough crowd. So I guess I will just get back to my ramblings. Except for I don’t really know what to write about...so let’s write about the World Cup. I mean it only happens every 4 years and I’m a sucker for global sporting events so I think it’s worthy of a post. First and foremost, I’m sure you are all wondering who I’ve picked to win it. In typical fashion, I’ve picked Brazil and I have reasons to back this up.




1) They are a country that loves football. I mean it’s intense.


2) I know some Brazilians and like them, except for maybe 1. But they are super nice and hospitable. They will accept you into their home as family, as that is the Brazilian way. So I’ve always felt a bit of a connection to Brazil.


3) The Brazilian team is focused. I read somewhere that their coach was banning the team from having sex leading up to and during the World Cup. Now that is quite the dedication and I figure it will make them want it (winning and victory sex) even more than all the other teams. Now while it’s a crazy tactic, it will be interesting to see if it is successful or not. I feel for the partners of the players though as I think it would be rough because we all know how hot the player in the World Cup are.


Those are all solid enough reasons for me to pick them to win it. Not that I’m completely opposed to other countries like Spain, Argentina, Portugal, and Chile winning either. Because my number one rule for the World Cup is if your team is good-looking, I will cheer for you and you are all winners in my eyes.

So anyone have other predictions? Anyone else even care?

KITTEN!

This is funny and adorable.

Makes me want a kitten mucho.

Add it to the list.

Well I am back from DC and trying to get back in the swings of my usual life. I often fall in love with every city I visit and DC was no exception. I didn’t really expect it, but it happened. DC just has a political/intellectual vibe that I love. I felt surrounded by doers and by people who make things happen and who matter.

The city, or at least where I was, was quite lovely too. Some beautiful architecture with some places looking almost European. It seemed like everywhere I turned, there was a different embassy, from Chile, Australia, and Peru, to the Brazilian Consulate. (I think we all know how I feel about Brazil, but that’s a whole other blog post.) I think I like being around these foreign embassies because it’s the closest I can get to the actual countries for now. I could definitely see myself living in DC, but I often feel that way about almost every place I visit.

Another little fun fact about my trip, I did not get homesick. I never seem to miss SD. Most of the other people I was with expressed homesickness and were ready to go home. Keep in mind that “home” for them were places like Chicago, Portland, Minneapolis, and Raleigh. Just once, I’d like to experience a longing to be home. I really need to get out of here.

Running away.

It's been one of those weeks where I just want to cry. Everything just feels off or wrong. I also feel really alone for some reason and I don't like it.

So basically this week has been rough and would be completely unbearable if it wasn't for my upcoming trip to DC.

I am just ready to get out of here, if even for a few days.