techno-head

I am a slave to technology.

It saddens me that I rely on it so much. I don't wear a watch, because I typically always have my cell phone with me. I don't call friends as often, because it is easier to send them a facebook message or tweet them. I don't even have to do simple math in my head because my cell phone has a calculator and even a tip calculator. Convenient? Yes...

But technology almost makes things too easy. I really don't have to think much anymore and we all know that if you don't use your mind, your brain cells will decrease. Dang.

Maybe because a lot of things are so easy and accessible, it makes the other things that are not so easy harder to deal with. I mean sure I like a challenge sometimes, but often times I wish things, like other life things, were easier. Nobody every said life was easy, but I want to know who said it had to be so hard sometimes.

I could counter-argue and say that technology has made life easier in most aspects, which is true, but I think it has led some of us to think there should be an easy quick fix for everything. We all want that ever elusive easy button that would make things as easy as pie. (Is 'as easy as pie' even a saying? If it is, it's a silly one because pies are in fact not so easy to make...)

There is one part of current technology that I have not succumb to (yet): a GPS. I have always just looked up directions online and wrote or printed them out. They have always been fairly accurate for me, so I've stuck with it. Not that I have never been enticed by the thoughts of a GPS...because I have been. Even more so lately since this past weekend I got slightly lost in Fargo and thought that Google Maps had failed me, but really the only thing failing me was my ability to comprehend the directions. But no biggie, I just set myself back a bit on time and it wasn't so terrible of an experience that I can justify the purchase of a GPS.

Besides, I just realized that my cell phone has a navigation system on it that you can sign up for. Great success!


Abrazos y besos.

I am so over it.

I am trying to simplify my life.

I want to be less materialistic, only needing the bare minimum of things. I never realize how much crap I have until I move and I always vow that I will try to get rid of some of the clutter before I have to move again. Yet I always seem to take on more and more things and I hate it.

I desire to get all of my possessions down to a car load. I want to be nomadic and just pack up and move whenever I need or want to. I have a long ways to go to get to that point, but one can dream. I just need to start throwing things out and quit buying new things. I hate that I want new things when I have a hard time parting with my old ones.

But I wonder, why am I so materialistic? I wasn't necessarily spoiled as a child and definitely didn't get everything I wanted. (I mean I am still waiting for that pony...) But really, I guess I could blame it on being 'American' and our lifestyle. We are never satisfied and always want the best of the best right now. Instant gratification is such a natural thing for Americans and I am just a product of my environment. It's a bit of a cop out, but I don't want to be that way anymore. I appreciate the privileges I have been given by living in this country, but maybe I need a break from it to appreciate it more and find what is really important to me.

I also need to simplify my life emotionally and get rid of some of that baggage also. I am sick of putting effort into relationships with others and not getting anything back. No more high-maintenance people in my life. I am done trying to please and appease some people. It is kind of sad, but my life and time can be better spent on others who encourage me and make me a better person. I want to be surrounded by positive influence and some people just give off a bad vibe or rub me the wrong way...so I'm done.

So there. Too honest? Probably, but I just want to refocus my time and energy to the things and people that deserve it the most. And I think that is a pretty great thing.

Peace.

Fountain of Youth?

I was told recently that I didn't look like I was 22 years old. I apparently look more like I'm 16 or 17 years old. Now even though this comment came from a 16 year old male Brazilian exchange student, quite possibly with hormones raging, I'm going to take it as a compliment and a sign that I am aging well (instead of just the charming ways of adolescent boys and Brazilians).

I mean I would rather look 5-6 years younger than 5-6 years older...yikes that would put me in the 27-28 year range. Although it is somewhat intriguing to think about my life in 5-6 years and where I will be and what I will have accomplished, I like to take things one day at a time or at least one year at a time.

But back to vanity issues, I do notice the fine lines that are starting to appear on my forehead and wonder when I should declare a full-fledged battle against them. I think I will wait until 25, unless things get noticeably more noticeable.

But that is enough picking on myself...I have flaws just like everyone, yet I like myself just how I am. Am I perfect? No. Am I happy with who I am and how I look? Yes. I have always had a good supply of confidence and rarely doubt myself and because of that, I know I am much happier in life.

Besides, beauty (or age) is in the eye of the beholder.

...zzzzzzzzzz...

Man, this week has been exhausting for no particular reason I can think of. It's the middle of summer/internship and I think I'm getting run down.

So that means extra sleep, mucho relaxation, and not doing anything strenuous this weekend. I'm going to take the time to center myself and try to beat my exhaustion because the next couple of weekends are going to be busy. First Jazzfest and then 10klf! Boy, music/concerts 2 weekends in a row is pretty much orgasmic. *dreamy thoughts* Okay back to reality for now...

I've been beat this whole week and feel like a hamster running on my exercise wheel going nowhere. The only one to benefit from this tiring week is one of my on-again off-again love affairs: Starbucks.

Does the body good....

I've stopped at the 'Bucks every morning this week. Not good for my caffeine intake or my wallet, but oh-so-satisfying in the morning. I really need to cut back my intake next week though...

I also have been somewhat anti-social (so sorry to Mel and others). I missed a birthday outing, a canaries game, and other various social events but spent some great time with my Hawaiian best friend and watched a couple movies with friends. (side note: Slumdog Millionaire was good, but not so sure it was as great as everyone made it out to be. Oh the almost inevitable let down after great expectations.)

Since this post is kind of going nowhere, I'll give an update on my life.

I will more than likely end up staying in Sioux Falls until next May-ish. Unless some amazing opportunity comes up, for now I have decided to do the smart thing and try to organize my life a bit more before doing something drastic. I am thinking about spending the whole month of September traveling around to various places, so I should probably get a passport just in case I leave the country.

I'm going use those 9 months to take the GRE, apply for the Peace Corps, check out some graduate schools, and just try to get a job around here. I also have another idea for my life that is a little shocking, but is still in the very early thought stages, so I'm not going to spill it just yet or even until after I do it.

So there you go...just going to sit back and let things happen...kind of.

I want it and I want it now.

I recently read an article about my generation and how we are all so narcissistic and demanding and full of ourselves. I wish I could remember where I read 'said' article because I would try to link it here for your own viewing pleasure, but it doesn't really matter because I fail at linking things here all the time...

Anyways, it basically said how my generation expects so much from life and how we really do expect the best of the best because we think we deserve it. And how Twitter and blogging just lead to more narcissism because we expect people to be interested in our thoughts, etc...how interesting.

So by blogging, I am upping my own narcissism, I guess. I never thought I was very narcissistic, but maybe I was just ignorant to my own self-absorbedness. I do feel like my life, thoughts, and actions are important. Maybe not to everyone, but to some people. It's not like I expect everyone to follow my Twitter or read/follow my blog.

Actually, I'm often surprised by how many people read my blog so I have to be kind of careful when I get personal. Maybe I should have just started writing in a journal. That would not be so narcissistic since it would be for my viewing only and would not be put out on the web for anyone to see. This was another point made by the article; that my generation thinks that people should want to read/know their thoughts and opinions.

I don't think I force myself or thoughts on anyone and like to think that everyone comes here by their own free will to catch up on my life and thoughts. I guess I am a little narcissistic in thinking that people do want to come and read my words...but is narcissism really that bad? I could see where it might get out of hand, but doesn't it give people a bit of a competitive edge or something besides a complex?

I mean we are always told to dream big and work hard so you can achieve those dreams no matter how crazy or unrealistic they are. As children, we are not told that failure is a very real possibility and that we may have to change our dreams a bit along the way. In fact, we are usually encouraged to conjure up these sometimes crazy dreams. Maybe our parents raised our generation to be a bit narcissistic and we got a taste of it and ran with it....and just kept running.

I'm not trying to place the blame on our parents because I think it is a good thing that they try to paint this beautiful picture of the world, where anything is possible, in many of our young minds. We will all learn eventually that the world can be a sucky and unfair place, but they planted that seed of hope and while it may have shrunk a bit over the years or whatever, a little bit of hope is all we often need to cling to. It can get us through tough times and remind us of how things could get better or of how great they could be one day, if we really want it.

You may say I'm narcissistic. Or you may say I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one. (little shout out to John Lennon there, in case you didn't notice...)

Peace and dreams.

a lapse of memory

Last night before I fell asleep, I thought of a really great topic to blog about.

And now I can't remember what it was.

Hopefully it will come back to me.

Update: So after much thought, nothing very concrete came to mind, but I think it was about the Peace Corps...possible post to come soon...