Adios 2009!

As I type this I am waiting for people to arrive to start our celebration of the last year and to ring in the new one. There is no better way to start a year than with the people you love and that's what is going to happen. 2010 should start off right.

As I wait in anticipation for the good times and conversation I'll experience in the upcoming hours, I have some quiet time to collect my thoughts and reflect on the year that was 2009.

It doesn't seem like much happened but in reality it was kind of a big year. For one, I graduated college. This is something not everyone accomplishes and had been my goal ever since I can remember. It always seemed to be what I was working towards. Now I get to work towards new goals and dreams...I also have to figure those out...

I moved to Sioux Falls which might not seem like much, but I feel it is just a stepping stone to get to where I want to be in life.

Probably the biggest thing that happened to me in 2009 was the birth of my niece. She has changed my whole family for the better. I am amazed at how much I can love someone and in reality, I don't even know her. I mean she can't even put her thoughts into words yet. But she holds a place dear in my heart and lets me experience a different wonderful type of love.

Having a moment...

Those were the bigger things of 2009, but there were lots of everyday little things too. The things that help me define who I am and learn more about myself and what I want to contribute to this life. My ideologies changed a bit over the year as I experienced more in life. Heck, I changed over the year but feel it wasn't anything drastic. For every time I change, whether it be a little or a lot, I feel like it is right. I am becoming who I am meant to be and more importantly, who I want to be.

So I hope everyone has a great new year and soaks up these last hours of 2009. I thank you all for reading my thoughts and posts and hope you all come back for more next year!

Love love love. xoxo

What's Hawaiian for 'happy birthday'?

So I received some exciting news very recently...

I am going back to Hawaii!

Hello to dear friends, sunshine, the ocean, and cute sailors! I am super pumped and can't wait to get there. Alas, it is not until February but that is only a little over a month away. I feel like I have much to do beforehand, but not really. This time I even have a travel buddy, my good friend Heather is flying out also. We are very lucky girls and are going to have a great time...I can feel it.

Hawaii was an amazing experience last time and I can't wait to see what it brings this time. Heather and I have already been brainstorming about what we should do while we're there. These are mostly the things we didn't get to last time like surfing, hiking Diamondhead, and jumping off some waterfalls. I also want to check out the University of Hawaii-Manoa's grad school...

Me and my girls.

So it should be an amazing trip and I can't wait to spend time with some of my best girls.

2010 or bust.

Well it's time to start brainstorming New Year's resolutions. 2009 was the only year I can remember that I actually kept my resolution.

Last year, my New Year's resolution was to start a blog and keep with it. 12 short months later, I'm still blogging and I actually really enjoy it (although I do get blogger's block sometimes). I didn't think I would care for it so much, but it has become a great outlet for me and my thoughts.

So I'm feeling a bit of pressure to pick a great resolution for 2010 and stick with just like the previous year. A few thoughts have come to mind, but they are more personal and therefore not blogging material.

So for post-able options....

Maybe I'll resolve to actually move out of SD instead of always just talking about it. That's a pretty bold resolution, but maybe 2010 is my year for boldness.

I know I've said it before, but I really do love the idea of a new year and the chance to consciously make a change and better myself. I work better with deadlines and here is a whole 12 months to complete something. Perfect for my procrastinating self.

Maybe I'll resolve to be a better friend. Sometimes I feel like my priorities get crossed up and the people in my life suffer.

Maybe I'll resolve to actually start up my newly acquired domain, onlyinthedark.com. This could be difficult since I am not very techie and computer-y.

Maybe I'll resolve to read at least one book a month. I've always loved to read, but have strayed away from my love for some reason. It would be nice to get back together with that love.

Maybe I'll resolve to tell those that I love more often because I know I do not do it enough. I want the people who I love to feel loved and I know I could put more effort into it.

Maybe I'll resolve to actually make it out of the country. That should be doable at this point in my life.

Well that was surprisingly good brainstorming! Stay tuned for updates...

Hugs and kisses.

So this was Christmas?

Well my holiday officially sucked. Hands down the worst Christmas I have ever experienced.

Wondering what made it so bad? It wasn't the 18.5 inches of snow Sioux Falls got. It wasn't the fact that the only time I have left my apartment in 2 whole days was to shovel my car out and move it to a clean parking spot either. It was the fact that I was completely alone.

Sure I received numerous texts and calls from people, but it just isn't the same as having someone with you. I also didn't appreciate the text from a relative rubbing it in that she was able to spend time with my baby aka my niece. It felt like people thought I actually wanted to be here by myself. It just hurt and I cried...numerous times. I'm glad the weekend is almost over because I can't take much more.

On the very dim bright side of the situation, I've had a lot of time to think about things, was able to walk around naked since the roomie was definitely gone, watched some How I Met Your Mother and finished season one of Friday Night Lights. So in other words, I've been insanely productive.

It's funny how you want what you don't have and in the past few days, all I've wanted is some/any company.

Well enough of my pity fest. I promise to be more upbeat in the next post...maybe.

Peace.

Snowpocalypse '09

So here I am bored already and it's only been the first few hours of snowpocalypse '09 (the moniker I prefer over snowmageddon '09). This is not good. I'm stuck in SF by myself because I have to work tomorrow at a job that I'm quitting with my last day to be Friday.

To sum it up, I'm missing Christmas with any and all of my loved ones, we're getting an insane amount of snow, and I'm alone through it all.

I almost went to Wal-mart today to buy a fish so at least I'd have some company but decided against it since I have a hard time keeping them alive. My luck it would have died on Christmas day too.

For the second year in a row, I will have a Christmas that doesn't really feel like Christmas. Last year was a better excuse since I was in Hawaii and this year is the greatest blizzard in 4 decades. Just lovely.

Yet I'll manage and still keep my fingers crossed that the storm isn't as bad as they are predicting. Maybe then I can get out of here and still have a holiday.

So if you're reading this and experiencing snowpocalypse '09, I hope you are safe, warm, and with people you love. And if you are all 3, just know that I'm jealous...but I guess 2 out of 3 isn't bad.

Hugs and eskimo kisses.

Are you ready for it?

Well as of today there are exactly 2 weeks left of 2009. The year flew by as they tend to and we are on the cusp of a new decade. How exciting. At this time last year, I was packing and readying myself for Hawaii. It does not seem like that long ago I rang in 2009 dancing and having fun in downtown Honolulu.

Oh the memories.

But as much as I appreciate my past, no need to dwell on it because the future is where it's at. That's what we have some control over. Having said that, I feel like 2010 is going to be a big year. I don't have any concrete plans yet, but my mind is a-buzzing with the possibilities. How great is it that we get a somewhat blank slate every January 1 to do whatever we want with?

So stay tuned for updates from what should be an awesome year...2010, here I come!

Coming into focus.

Life has been interesting lately. I feel like I've been thinking more about my own life, what I want from it, and what I'm doing in it to make things happen.

There are certain parts of my life that just make sense all of a sudden. I'm seeing connections and patterns that were never quite as obvious as they suddenly are now.

But now that I see the patterns, maybe I can do something to change or alter them so I don't always end up down the same path. (Because not everything I do or have done has such great results.) I feel more in control of certain aspects of my life. I know more of what I want and therefore can go out and find it.

It is a funny feeling when you see your dreams changing before your eyes. I've never had a direct path I wanted my life to take, but had ideas and accomplishments that just seemed like natural fits for me. I'm starting to embrace different ideas and maybe not so 'comfortable' things for me, which I think is great. I want to do things I had never really considered or had only considered briefly. I feel like I'm actually growing as a person and evolving into who I'm meant to be.

So it really has been an interesting time in my life. Lots of ups and downs. Lots of new ideas and plans. Lots of living.

Peace and love.

P.S. I'm really really excited about the new year coming up but will write about that later... :)

Some holiday cheer...

This song is my dad's favorite Christmas song. (Which is ironic since he hates country music and it's by a country group.) But I've grown quite fond of it over the years and think it is quite lovely also.

Check it out here.


Happy holidays!

Don't I know you?

My world feels smaller and smaller everyday. I used to revel in the fact that connections between friends and acquaintances could be easily made. It was comforting in a sense and gave you an instant connection to the person you were talking to.

But as of recent, I find it a bit annoying. I like to be known by some, but crave some anonymity. I like to blend in more often than stand out. I've always been this way and blame in on my introverted tendencies.

These days, it seems everyone "new" that I meet asks me if I went to Augustana or swears to know me from somewhere. I guess it makes for good conversation and we can usually pinpoint some sort of common ground of how we know or might know each other (even though I sometimes want to scream that I did not go to Augie.)

Oh South Dakota, why do you have to be so small? Even in the largest city, I fail to find some anonymous serenity. I know I should be embracing this as a great networking situation for a young person like myself as it tends to be who you know instead of what you know that gets you places in life. Yet, my small reality just has been so much more obvious in the past week or so that I can't help but find it a bit ridiculous.

I don't really for see the situation changing for as long as I live here or in a smaller community. I also imagine in a larger community people tend to cling to a 'smaller community feel' like we have here anyways. So I guess I better adjust or become a hermit and move to the mountains.