Letting go.

Letting go. It's part of life. Often necessary, but not always easy. I have long since considered myself a master of it. After all, detachment to some people or situations is no more than a blink of the eye for me, especially in recent years.

There are a few relationships in my life that need letting go or are even in the process. But there is one relationship in particular that I just need to be done with. I know I've thought I let it go numerous times in the past, but the truth is I haven't. I confused actually letting go with power. I often felt in control of this relationship, as unhealthy as it was/is, and that control justified it in my mind. I saw it for what it was/is and used it to my advantage. That seemed like some form of letting go since at first I felt powerless with this person. I had switched it around. I had won. Or so I thought.

But alas, the relationship has continued on in one tumultuous form or another for some odd years and each time it reaches a climax, I see it for what it really is: an unhealthy relationship that is holding me back. I might feel in control most of the time, but it's just a shallow power struggle. It's a game we've both liked to play. I think it's time to truly work on letting this one go though.

Wish me luck.