87 to go!

So I have a few more things crossed off the list:


38. Speak my mind more often. (I've gotten especially good at this at work.)

41. Drink more water. (Hydration is now my friend.)

47. Befriend the mean bartender that everyone hates at Monks. (We are as friendly as we'll ever be.)

72. Brewery tour. (It was a winery, but I'm counting it. I also went to the one in Spearfish...)

89. Have a picnic in a park. (It was at the winery, but it was legit.)

10. Fall in love again. (My heart is currently in Chicago.)

Life lessons?

Well no one was super helpful with that last post. I guess maybe no one reads this after all...

After a particularly stressful week last week, I had a really really great weekend. It was so nice.

But once again, I can feel the stress creeping its way back in. The soreness/tightness in my back and jaw are undeniable. What's bothering me so much? Life I guess. I just don't know what to do sometimes. But then if I sit back and do nothing, I feel like it's all going to pass me by and I'll miss my chance. Guess I just need to find a happy balance? Whatevs.

So I've been dipping my toe (begrudgingly) into the dating pool, mostly because I think it's what society expects of me. This is silly though because I hate dating. Or I guess I should say I hate dating people I don't know. Too much pressure. Too many things can go wrong. Or the guy could turn out to be a creeper/clinger/psycho combo like the last one. All I have to say is there are some 28-30 year olds with major issues out there. Yikes. But I think he got the hint and has stopped harassing me. (Still need to buy that pepper spray though, just in case...) Maybe I should give a guy my age a try?

Too bad for those younger guys though because I met a 31 year old that could have potential. It's hard not to be hesitant after that last disaster but at least this one was screened through friends. Honestly though, I just don't think I want a relationship. I'm pretty happy being single which is kind of awesome to admit. I'm single by choice and happy with it. Too bad that when you make that realization, you have to beat them off with a stick. Seriously.

Hmmm...

Chicago or DC?

Thoughts?

Bummer.

Hmmm where to begin...

I still want what I can't have. I know I'm not the only one that feels it; I'm just not the one that's ignoring it. Such a bummer...and frustrating. Oh well, guess that's life.

Also, I need to learn to drive a stick shift. I might have to incorporate that into my 101 in 1001.

Just a kiss...

I know this one's a bit cheesy, but I love Lady A.

highlights.

Here's a look at some of the things that happened this week...

• My neck vertebrae are really out of whack. Therefore I will be spending a lot of time and money at the chiropractor. Sad.
• Right after receiving a pretty dirty, explicit text (it was a mutual exchange), my phone froze up and I had to take it to at&t. Not sure if the man saw the text, but he did fix my phone. Yay?
• I got to talk to my brother! On the phone! I miss him.
• I cruised around in style in a golf cart at jazzfest. Fun! Thanks B!

What an exciting life I lead, eh?

Letting go.

Letting go. It's part of life. Often necessary, but not always easy. I have long since considered myself a master of it. After all, detachment to some people or situations is no more than a blink of the eye for me, especially in recent years.

There are a few relationships in my life that need letting go or are even in the process. But there is one relationship in particular that I just need to be done with. I know I've thought I let it go numerous times in the past, but the truth is I haven't. I confused actually letting go with power. I often felt in control of this relationship, as unhealthy as it was/is, and that control justified it in my mind. I saw it for what it was/is and used it to my advantage. That seemed like some form of letting go since at first I felt powerless with this person. I had switched it around. I had won. Or so I thought.

But alas, the relationship has continued on in one tumultuous form or another for some odd years and each time it reaches a climax, I see it for what it really is: an unhealthy relationship that is holding me back. I might feel in control most of the time, but it's just a shallow power struggle. It's a game we've both liked to play. I think it's time to truly work on letting this one go though.

Wish me luck.