reborn.

It’s hard to explain what I’ve been feeling lately. I haven’t been writing much, but that is definitely not due to being uninspired.

I guess my recent bout with illness really took its toll on me and wiped out about 5 solid days of my life. As I lay there with a fever sleeping my days away and feeling miserable, I couldn’t help but think about all the things I should or could be doing.

I hadn’t had a fever quite some time and forgot how much it takes out of you…and actually didn’t realize it until I started feeling better. I know this sounds silly, but getting over this viral/bacterial thing and related issues really made me feel alive again. I almost feel reborn. I rekindled the appreciation I have for my body and my abilities.

I like feeling in control, especially of my body, and didn’t like the few days when my temperature hovered between 101-103 degrees. I had lost control all of a sudden and I didn’t know how to make myself better. (The doctor did not know either and was none too concerned about me. New doctor please.) There was no quick fix. I just had to ride it out and trust in my body's ability to fight the good fight. Darwinism at its finest, I guess. As miserable as I was during that time and felt like death was becoming me, I had no choice.

But I have to tell you, the feeling of getting better was amazing. I haven’t felt that appreciative about really anything in a long time. Our bodies are amazing creations and a healthy one is such a blessing. As much as we all fight with body image, weight issues, and just plain liking our physical selves, we need to take a step back and really look at ourselves. It's time to stop hating and start loving.

I have always been a fairly confident person, but never truly appreciated what I have inside and out or maybe just lost sight of it. I had to get out of balance to really appreciate the harmonious balance we can have emotionally, physically and spiritually.

It’s a scary thought to take anything for granted too much and I’m glad I was able to be grounded by a simple infection. Now that I have this newly found optimism towards my life and the world, I'll try to use it because the time is now.

Peace and love to the Earth and all its inhabitants.