Every once in a while, there are songs/lyrics that just speak to me. These songs/lyrics often have a soothing/calming effect over me and I tend to always migrate back to them at some point through my musical journeys.
Below is one of them. An oldie, but a goodie that I will always love probably because part of me will always be able to identify with it.
4.25.2010
4.22.2010
reborn.
It’s hard to explain what I’ve been feeling lately. I haven’t been writing much, but that is definitely not due to being uninspired.
I guess my recent bout with illness really took its toll on me and wiped out about 5 solid days of my life. As I lay there with a fever sleeping my days away and feeling miserable, I couldn’t help but think about all the things I should or could be doing.
I hadn’t had a fever quite some time and forgot how much it takes out of you…and actually didn’t realize it until I started feeling better. I know this sounds silly, but getting over this viral/bacterial thing and related issues really made me feel alive again. I almost feel reborn. I rekindled the appreciation I have for my body and my abilities.
I like feeling in control, especially of my body, and didn’t like the few days when my temperature hovered between 101-103 degrees. I had lost control all of a sudden and I didn’t know how to make myself better. (The doctor did not know either and was none too concerned about me. New doctor please.) There was no quick fix. I just had to ride it out and trust in my body's ability to fight the good fight. Darwinism at its finest, I guess. As miserable as I was during that time and felt like death was becoming me, I had no choice.
But I have to tell you, the feeling of getting better was amazing. I haven’t felt that appreciative about really anything in a long time. Our bodies are amazing creations and a healthy one is such a blessing. As much as we all fight with body image, weight issues, and just plain liking our physical selves, we need to take a step back and really look at ourselves. It's time to stop hating and start loving.
I have always been a fairly confident person, but never truly appreciated what I have inside and out or maybe just lost sight of it. I had to get out of balance to really appreciate the harmonious balance we can have emotionally, physically and spiritually.
It’s a scary thought to take anything for granted too much and I’m glad I was able to be grounded by a simple infection. Now that I have this newly found optimism towards my life and the world, I'll try to use it because the time is now.
Peace and love to the Earth and all its inhabitants.
I guess my recent bout with illness really took its toll on me and wiped out about 5 solid days of my life. As I lay there with a fever sleeping my days away and feeling miserable, I couldn’t help but think about all the things I should or could be doing.
I hadn’t had a fever quite some time and forgot how much it takes out of you…and actually didn’t realize it until I started feeling better. I know this sounds silly, but getting over this viral/bacterial thing and related issues really made me feel alive again. I almost feel reborn. I rekindled the appreciation I have for my body and my abilities.
I like feeling in control, especially of my body, and didn’t like the few days when my temperature hovered between 101-103 degrees. I had lost control all of a sudden and I didn’t know how to make myself better. (The doctor did not know either and was none too concerned about me. New doctor please.) There was no quick fix. I just had to ride it out and trust in my body's ability to fight the good fight. Darwinism at its finest, I guess. As miserable as I was during that time and felt like death was becoming me, I had no choice.
But I have to tell you, the feeling of getting better was amazing. I haven’t felt that appreciative about really anything in a long time. Our bodies are amazing creations and a healthy one is such a blessing. As much as we all fight with body image, weight issues, and just plain liking our physical selves, we need to take a step back and really look at ourselves. It's time to stop hating and start loving.
I have always been a fairly confident person, but never truly appreciated what I have inside and out or maybe just lost sight of it. I had to get out of balance to really appreciate the harmonious balance we can have emotionally, physically and spiritually.
It’s a scary thought to take anything for granted too much and I’m glad I was able to be grounded by a simple infection. Now that I have this newly found optimism towards my life and the world, I'll try to use it because the time is now.
Peace and love to the Earth and all its inhabitants.
4.02.2010
wishful thinking...
If I had just one wish and only one wish, I would wish for…I don’t know. World peace is an obvious answer and one I would strongly consider. To change the lives of millions and billions of people with one sweeping wish would be amazing.
But what would world peace constitute you ask?
No more wars.
Clean drinking water for all.
Safe housing and places to live.
An equal distribution of wealth or at least much closer than it is now (how socialist of me, I know).
No more genocide.
No more drug cartels and drug lords.
No more innocent deaths.
No more rape.
No more domestic violence.
No more pain and suffering.
No more fear for standing up for what you believe in.
No more judgment.
Basically no more "bad".
We would all be equals like it is supposed to be. I would still want to have separate cultures because if we were all exactly the same that would be boring. And this way we could learn from each other and really see what the other is offering. We would be always respectful of and learn to appreciate our differences, but in the end realize that we are all essentially the same. This is what we are; only human.
Why then does it have to take a wish for this to happen? Why are money, greed and power so intoxicating to many? Life is so materialistic for many while others never get to experience many of the material things we consider basic needs and even rights.
All of these thoughts make life much more frustrating and it’s hard to think that one person can make a difference when there are so many things wrong in the world. Many that only affect us indirectly and only if we are willing to think about them and let them affect us. We have so much power. It's time to start using it...unless I stumble upon a genie in a lamp, a la Aladdin-style, and can fix it all myself. But I'm probably going to need some help.
But what would world peace constitute you ask?
No more wars.
Clean drinking water for all.
Safe housing and places to live.
An equal distribution of wealth or at least much closer than it is now (how socialist of me, I know).
No more genocide.
No more drug cartels and drug lords.
No more innocent deaths.
No more rape.
No more domestic violence.
No more pain and suffering.
No more fear for standing up for what you believe in.
No more judgment.
Basically no more "bad".
We would all be equals like it is supposed to be. I would still want to have separate cultures because if we were all exactly the same that would be boring. And this way we could learn from each other and really see what the other is offering. We would be always respectful of and learn to appreciate our differences, but in the end realize that we are all essentially the same. This is what we are; only human.
Why then does it have to take a wish for this to happen? Why are money, greed and power so intoxicating to many? Life is so materialistic for many while others never get to experience many of the material things we consider basic needs and even rights.
All of these thoughts make life much more frustrating and it’s hard to think that one person can make a difference when there are so many things wrong in the world. Many that only affect us indirectly and only if we are willing to think about them and let them affect us. We have so much power. It's time to start using it...unless I stumble upon a genie in a lamp, a la Aladdin-style, and can fix it all myself. But I'm probably going to need some help.
4.01.2010
No more denial...
So it's official. I will admit what I've inevitably been denying for a while now...
I'm lost.
Or at least that's how I feel in my life. I think I've always had somewhat of a direction, but as of late I don't think that's true. I just don't know about anything anymore.
I don't know what I want in any aspect of my life. I don't know what will make me happy or what makes me happy right now. All the stability I thought I had is crumbling around me like old concrete. I have no idea how to stop it or make it all better. I do things that I think I want or that I think will make me happy, but ultimately they don't.
So I'll pose the question: what am I supposed to do to make things better?
Because I sure as heck don't know.
I'm lost.
Or at least that's how I feel in my life. I think I've always had somewhat of a direction, but as of late I don't think that's true. I just don't know about anything anymore.
I don't know what I want in any aspect of my life. I don't know what will make me happy or what makes me happy right now. All the stability I thought I had is crumbling around me like old concrete. I have no idea how to stop it or make it all better. I do things that I think I want or that I think will make me happy, but ultimately they don't.
So I'll pose the question: what am I supposed to do to make things better?
Because I sure as heck don't know.
3.28.2010
3.08.2010
In your face.
Sometimes I refuse to see things or situations that are right in front of me, often thrown in my face.
These can be positive situations, but typically are not. They typically end up being some of the harder lessons to learn.
Cheers to being 23 and still so naive sometimes.
These can be positive situations, but typically are not. They typically end up being some of the harder lessons to learn.
Cheers to being 23 and still so naive sometimes.
3.03.2010
Lo siento.
I sometimes have dreams where people apologize to me and it really makes me feel better, until I realize it was just a dream.
It's not like everyone I encounter in my dream apologizes, but typically just one particular person. I think it is my subconscious' way of telling me I feel wronged by that person no matter how much my conscious self denies it or ignores it.
I guess I should own up to all my feelings and stop making excuses for people if it affects my dreams. Really no need to be wasting my REM sleep on crap like that. ;)
P.S. I also have dreams where I apologize to particular people so I guess I've wronged people too. Crazy how things like that affect a person...
It's not like everyone I encounter in my dream apologizes, but typically just one particular person. I think it is my subconscious' way of telling me I feel wronged by that person no matter how much my conscious self denies it or ignores it.
I guess I should own up to all my feelings and stop making excuses for people if it affects my dreams. Really no need to be wasting my REM sleep on crap like that. ;)
P.S. I also have dreams where I apologize to particular people so I guess I've wronged people too. Crazy how things like that affect a person...
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