Use somebody

I'm just going to start this by stating that this past week was a rather crappy one. It was full of disappointments about various things in my life. And here I had such high hopes for '09...

I sometimes wonder if I am just the type of person that unknowingly sets themselves up for disappointment. It is funny because I usually don't let little let downs bother me, but lately it has just been one after another. I tend to get through life by looking forward to things in the near or even far future. I don't like that I do it, but I do. It's how I deal with my current situation, but lately the little things I have been looking forward to haven't been happening as I would like or even at all.

I feel used a lot. I feel that I am used by some people (no one in particular) however they want, yet when I need them, I just don't get it back. Maybe I am too nice and want to be there for everyone but for once, just once, I want someone to put as much effort into being my friend as I put into being theirs. It is frustrating.

Am I really the type of person that lets others use and use them with nothing in return? I am beginning to think that I am or maybe I expect too much of others.

I just don't know anymore.