Is nurture really that important?

I think I lack the mothering instinct than many people, mostly assume women, possess. I have never been particularly good with children and never really had any desire to babysit...especially after I took the Babysitters Safety Course offered by the Red Cross when I was 12ish? (I don't actually remember how old I was when I took it!) Maybe that is when I truly started to understand the responsibility that came with caring for kids.

I mean I had plenty of dolls growing up and loved playing 'house'. I would pretend the dolls were real babies and I was an amazing mom at age 5 and really had it down by age 7. But the thing with dolls, is that they are not real. It's an obvious feature, but hey, I thought if I could take care of a plastic baby, how hard could a real one be?

Fast forward a few years, baby cousins were born and that was really my only exposure to young kids. Needless to say, it wasn't much and I rarely got to hold them. If I did, it was only for a few minutes and I was always sitting down, thanks to the never ending concern by my mother. I guess I can understand why I wasn't too trusted with young children when I was a kid myself...

But now, I am 22 years old and people still do not trust me with babies. I do pretty good with kids ages 3 and up, but anything under 3 and I get watched like a hawk. I mean really people!?! So I may not have much experience with babies and toddlers but hey the best way to learn is some hands-on experience! It's not like I'm going to drop them.

Cuter than any doll I had-my niece.

So how do I gain people's trust in my mothering ability? I have no idea...I really do think I lack that nurturing/caring thing that moms tend to be so good at. I am so awkward around kids it's ridiculous. I keep waiting for my supposedly "natural" instincts to kick in, but no such luck. I thought that maybe after my niece was born they would kick in stronger....nope. I do think she is really really cute and like being around her but could not imagine having that kind of responsibility right now. Or not even in the next 10 years.

Maybe I should accept the fact that the only thing I've been able to care for and keep alive are pets and that's even limited to cats and dogs. So what gives me the confidence that I would have the ability to be an awesome mom to a child? Certainly not my track record of mothering things.

Maybe I am just not meant to have little carbon copies of myself running around. I think I could live with this yet I don't want to rule anything out just yet....After all, I am only 22 years old.