real vs. ideal

I was an idealist for a long time. But things change. The world and life toughens you up, or at least it did to me. Now I don't think my idealistic self is completely gone, meaning I don't think I am that cold-hearted or cynical, but the rainbows and sunshine part of me is much smaller and I try to push it to the back of my mind/self and let the big, bad realistic part through more often these days.

I used to have so much faith in people thinking that most everyone is intelligent, considerate, and rational. Over the years, the truth has begun to seep out and I stopped seeing everybody through rose-colored glasses. I grew up and lost that wide-eyed innocent ideal of others and the world, I guess.

Not all is lost though. I do believe that there are good people in the world, just not as many as once before. That is probably the idealist coming out. Part of me refuses to give up hope completely and I cling on to it. I want to believe so badly that there is more good in the world instead of bad that this is often what I tell people. I stick up for people I don't know because I don't want to judge them or the situation too quickly. I might get let down in the long run, but I might be surprised also. These rare occurrences of surprise are what feeds my idealism. But I can't ever see myself going back completely to my idealistic self.

Even though I am more of a realist, I really strive to be equal parts realist and idealist; rational and hopeful at the same time. I want to find something inspiring to help balance me out. I need something to balance me out.

So here's to hoping the universe will send something wonderful my way and maybe I can get a glimpse of the world through those rose-colored glasses again.