Don't look up...

My two biggest fears are heights and spiders. I'm not sure which I fear more, but currently it's heights.

This past week, I attempted to climb the 35 foot rock wall at the Wellness Center twice. Now why would someone who is afraid of heights willingly attempt to climb a wall and place their fate in a rope and some well-tied knots? I really must be crazy and that is pretty much how I felt; yet it is something I have always wanted to do. Let me digress...

My first attempt was Monday night. I had tried to get a few friends to come with but ended up going alone. I did know the guy who was my belay so that definitely helped. I initially went to the Wellness Center telling myself over and over that I was going to do it, but after I got in there the nerves set in a bit more. So I worked out a bit and tried to calm myself down. I went back and forth numerous times as to whether or not I would make an attempt. I finally made my way over to the climbing area to talk to Dan (my belay) and basically talk myself into doing it. As I got closer to the wall, I gulped and nervously looked up. Man I swear it was 70 feet high! But reassured myself, he won't make me climb the big wall my first time; I'll just start out on the little one, much like the bunny slope when you are skiing.

So after chatting with Dan a little bit, he asks if I'm going to climb. "No no no", I reply. Well shoot, there went my chance to be brave and face my fear. We kept talking and he kept nicely probing me to climb and finally I give in. So I go sign the waiver (comforting!) and come back and get harnessed up. I learn how to tie the knots that will supposedly keep me from falling and breaking my neck. Dan gives me a few pointers (after probably noticing my 'deer in headlights' look). Don't look up and try to reach for a grip, look down and find a place for your foot, boost yourself up higher and then you will be able to reach. Sounds simple enough and I tuck the advice away in my memory. I turn to face the "easy side" on the big wall. Yep, no baby starter wall for me! Now is when a bit more of panic sets in...I am going to be dangling from this rope and these knots that I tied?!? Well that's just great.

A few commands later and I'm climbing. Wow, it's easier than I thought....until I get up higher and want to keep looking up because of my fear of heights but instead remember the advice and look down at my feet. Boy, I'm up high....so my heart starts to beat faster, I can feel my legs start to shake a bit, and I just might freeze up. But miraculously, I go a bit farther!

All in all, I made it about halfway up my first time. Not too shabby. Coming down and letting go of the wall is probably the hardest part for me. Trusting the rope is something that is very hard for someone who is afraid of heights, like me. So I safely reach the ground and feel amazing. My heart is still pumping and I'm still a little shaky, but I made it! It is something I have always wanted to try but doubted my ability to physically do it. I never thought I had enough upper-body strength to help pull myself up, but I do. :)

Lastly, I thank Dan for not letting me fall and break my neck and leave the Wellness Center with a bit of a high. I should try new things more often.

So now I'm pumped about my climbing success and want to take others with me and did take Alaina and Emily with the next day! They both did awesome even though they both had doubts too. This time, I made it even further and was a few mere feet from the top. My fear of heights once again got the best of me, but I am confident I will make it to the top next time.

Just a little mind over matter, baby.